Grace for the Anarchists
by fountainsANDfeathers
Summary: Set prior to Season 1. Jax promises Opie that he will look after his family but ends up a little too close to his best friend's teenage sister. Grace has got a lot on her plate with her older brother serving time, helping out her sister-in-law, and her high school graduation. The last thing she expected was...this.
1. Chapter 1

Wearing a pair of low riding painted on jeans and a long sleeve black Henley with a thick worn gray zippered hooded sweatshirt thrown atop it tucked into a pair of combat boots, she looked every bit as angst driven MC progeny she was raised to be. Deciding that it was best to handle it all at one time, the words simply tumbled out of her mouth as she faced down her teacher and mentor.

"I don't think that I'm going to be needing that ride to Oakland this Friday Mrs. Peterson," Grace said, trying not to fiddle with the strap of her backpack but failing at biting her lip. Throwing her disruptive chocolate cherry curls away from her forehead with the ringed fingers of her right hand, she took a deep breath and steadied herself for what was about to come. Mrs. Peterson, for all her swell intentions and good graces made it no secret just how she felt about the lifestyle the Winston's were involved in.

The teenager could give her grace for that. To the outside, she know what they looked like, a bunch of white trash thugs halting progress who operated outside the law and to some extent that was true. However, there was a certain sort of respected genius and camaraderie that glued it all together. SAMCRO wasn't for everyone. She was SAMCRO- born and bred. Her father was First 9, Piney Winston was an alcoholic, an ornery cuss, but loyal to a fault. And he had raised her to be just that. But that wasn't all she was. Grace, from a young age, knew she had the potential to be something else. Not different. Not more. Just else.

She wasn't like Opie and Jax and Tiki who only wanted a Harley and a kutte from the time they were five. There were only three things those three excelled at: pussy, bikes, and outlaw green. Well, two for Opie as his marriage to Donna had put him out of the pussy commission a couple years back. Mrs. Peterson could never really truly understand just how difficult it would be to leave the only life she's really ever known. She watched the transformation play across the other woman's face- shock, confusion, frustrated.

Then just like that her Senior English Literature teacher turned concerned and composed and stacked a new set of papers on her desk before crossing her arms and pulling her eyebrows together in a question that reeked of curiosity and suspicion, "What's going on Grace?"

"With everything being the way that it is. I don't think that college is all that important right now."

Any statement couldn't have been truer for her life right now in that very second. In the span of roughly 36 hours her entire life plan had completely unraveled. No more college. No more getting out of Charming with her best friend. She was going to have to break up with Jason- honestly it had been a long time coming. Not to mention how she was going to tell...everybody. A shit storm was about to hit the fan and for a brief thirty seconds she thanked God Opie was in prison so he wouldn't kill her.

Seeing the surefire determination on the small girl's face, Mrs. Peterson knew she might be gearing up to fight a lost battle. Grace Winston was a bright student. One of the brightest she had seen in her fifteen years of teaching to be honest. She was capable of so much more than not going to college. She knew it would be rough, what with her SAMCRO background at all but she thought that the girl honestly had a chance of escaping that white trash biker enclave.

That was until last fall when her older brother had been arrested for arson and was now serving out a long term prison stay. Opie Winston had left behind a wife and two young children. She had a sneaking suspicion that was a huge factor if not the primary reason why Grace was thinking about putting her life on the backburner, to stay and help her sister-in-law. As Donna had no family, at least none that was willing to help. And if she stayed, well it would go without saying that Grace would never leave. Situations like that, people like that, had an incredible way of constantly sucking and locking you in to the repetitive rush and drama. It was honestly almost a miracle that Grace had made as far as she had. Valedictorian, Tutor, Cheerleader.

"Grace, if this is about your brother…your family, I'm sure they wouldn't want to hold you back-"

"They wouldn't be holding me back. They're my family," she snapped. _We're supposed to look out for each other. Besides, I might be the one who needs some looking after_ , she thought to herself while trying to maintain a neutral position in her body language. Taking a deep breath, she begin to launch herself into a vague but simple explanation, "College can wait Mrs. P. My family can't. I can take some classes at Lodi Community and transfer into a bachelors program later. I just wanted to let you know. I know you've poured into me a bit, looking over my application essays and writing my recommendation letters so I don't want you to think that I'm not grateful because I am…but I got a lot on my plate right now. I need my family. I mean, we need each other right now."

Stepping out from behind her desk, Mrs. Peterson felt her heart rate begin to escalate as she listened to exactly what Grace had just said. In the past couple of months, the stout middle-aged mother of four had done a lot of listening to Grace. About her mother, who never came around, and about SAMCRO who was the glue of her life but that's all she would say about the MC. And what she just heard just then wasn't just about Grace's brother and him being locked up. Deciding that at this point it was completely worth the risk, she pressed, "Why don't you want to go to college anymore Grace?"

"I already told you, my family is more important," she emphasized.

"When you say family are you talking about your brother and your sister-in-law and your niece and your nephew? When you say family are you talking about SAMCRO? Or is there something else that this is about Grace?"

Years of being reared by Gemma Teller-Morrow kicked into a gear and Grace, almost reflexively, was able to remain passive. She shifted her feet and widened her stance and crossed her arms over her tender chest before lifting a perfectly arched eyebrow. Without hesitation, the seventeen-year-old answered with the maturity of a woman twice her age, "I told you once that the only reason I'm doing you this courtesy of telling you about my decision is because you've been a great teacher and I felt like you'd earned the right to know. However, I don't see the need for you to bring up my brother or SAMCRO again, Mrs. Peterson because quite frankly my reasons are my own."

"Okay Grace," the blonde sighed, caressing the chain of her cat eye glasses that hung around her neck, "I didn't mean to upset you but I am just concerned you might be making a rather important decision based on your emotions. I want what's best for you and so I am going to ask that you really think this through and Friday morning if you still don't want to go to the interview then I will personally call and inform the admissions board of your decision."

"I appreciate that Mrs. P. See you tomorrow," she offered with a gracious but tense smile and with that, she turned on her heel and marched herself straight out of room 1102 to the school parking lot and climbed in her navy blue 1977 Ford Bronco and slammed the door, dropping her backpack on the floor before leaning over on the windshield, wrapping her arms around her stomach and bursting into tears.

She didn't think it would be so difficult to actually have that conversation. She had been prepping for it all day, barely able to focus on anything and everything else because it was officially the death of a dream and picking up a new one. It wouldn't be so bad. Things weren't just all about her now. Damnit, how the hell did this all happen? Everything felt like it was over. This wasn't supposed to be her life, not yet anyways. And it all happened because she was stupid. So stupid that she couldn't get her little school girl crush on her brother's best friend under control.

 _Okay let's be honest here Grace, you didn't exactly put up that much of a fight. That much of a fight? You didn't fight at all! One kiss and you just caved like one of those pathetic croweaters._ Okay so that wasn't exactly the case. She wasn't a croweater. She was First 9 progeny. And he hadn't actually treated her like a croweater, even if she had acted like one. Her dad was going to kill the both of them. Oh and Gemma…dear God, she didn't even want to think about Gemma. This was a nightmare. She wasn't ready for a baby and she was sure as shit that he wasn't ready for a baby either. She was about to screw so many people over. Natalie, her best friend, had uttered those words not her 36 hours ago over burgers and fries in Stockton.

The two had skipped school (only the second time that she had actually done it) to drive to Stockton for her to terminate her pregnancy. But she couldn't do it. She didn't know how she would live with herself if she had to see and know Jax Teller for the rest of her life, knowing she had terminated this pregnancy without even telling him about it. Then she had started to think about a little boy who was the spitting image of Jax. Or a little girl, with her hair and his eyes. About said kid growing up with Kenny and Ellie. About Gemma spoiling her kid to death. And the more she thought about it, the more she thought about people who have gotten knocked up at seventeen and their lives turned out fine. Maybe harder but fine. And at this point, with a father whose prison stints she could count on one hand, a brother currently serving time, and the war years of the 90s with the Mayans in her childhood memory, harder was a concept she was used to. And the more she thought about how much a warrior she was, she thought about what it would be like to have a piece of Jax.

Grace had loved Jax Teller with his panty dropping smile and intellectual biker mentality ever since she could remember. It hadn't been much of a secret in her early years. JT used to tease her about it and said that one day Jax would come around. Gemma had warned Jax when he was a teenager to chill out with the playful jibing and flirting. And her old man had promptly told her she'd better find someone else to crush on. She remember how busted up Jax had been when Tara left and how busted up she had been watching him plow his way through cheap booze, grass, and cheap pussy. She had never been more grateful for anything as when he had come to his senses and pulled his act together. So when thought about Jax- his smile, his eyes, his hugs, his kiss, his words of encouragement, his steadfast love and loyalty to her brother and to her- coupled with everything else, she simply could not go through with it.

That's why, Natalie had told her she was about to screw so many people over. Because she was keeping the baby. She didn't even know what or how she was going to tell Jason, or her father, or her brother, or her sister-in-law who she currently lived with and had two kids on her own, or Gemma, or Jax, or anybody that really mattered. She wished she could just put them in all in one place and tell them all at one time and deal with it all at once. But she was practical and that just was not realistic. So, with Natalie's help she developed a game plan.

Make a doctor's appointment

Tell Jax

Tell everybody else (preferably in the order of Donna, Gemma, Piney, Jason, Opie)

Ask Dr. Lincoln if he could increase her part time hours now just a wee bit and then hire her as full time staff at the veterinarian clinic instead of just as a seasonal hire for the summer

Enroll at Lodi Community College

Even with a solid plan, Grace was nervous as fuck because numbers 2 and 3 on that list were a lot easier said than done but she had to get it out of the way because sooner or later people were going to notice. The baby was conceived on New Year's Day and Valentine's Day was this weekend.

Bucking up, she wiped the tears off her face, bringing half of her mascara with the action and took a sobering breath. She could do this. She was going to do this. And she would do it with or without Jax. She was not going to be a statistic like all those hypocritical Charming naysaying residents prophesied. Terrified but determined, Grace suddenly felt older than just seventeen.


	2. Chapter 2

_Christmas Day_

Christmas was her favorite holiday. Even when she was a kid and Mary would burn the ham and Piney would be stone cold drunk and Opie dreaded having to sit there and watch classic holiday cartoons with her, she loved Christmas. She loved decorating the tree and hanging stockings and reading _'Twas the Night Before Christmas_ to herself underneath the covers with a flashlight. She loved going to Gemma and JT's house. She loved the brownies that LuAnn made and she loved seeing her family laughing and talking, whether it be drunk or sober. However, this Christmas was a bit lackluster because Opie wasn't here.

It was especially hard on Donna. Kenny and Ellie were still small enough to be confused by the sudden absence of their father and it was days like this where she could see a sort of resentment building in Donna about what happened. She loved her sister-in-law but the woman could be stubbornly naïve. Even this morning, she had to relay the truth that when she married Opie she married SAMCRO because that was all Opie knew and all Opie was ever going to be. Being angry now wasn't going to help anybody. Donna had told her she was just seventeen and that she didn't know any better. She was smart enough to know when _not_ to beg to differ.

Currently, she was sitting out in Gemma and Clay's backyard, with her eyes closed. Breathing in the crisp winter air. Even though it never really got freezing here in Charming, it was cold enough to warrant the black hooded sweatshirt under a cropped beat up brown leather jacket. In a pair of painted on jeans and a red flannel with some soft suede ankle booties, Grace still dressed like an angry twelve year old boy in some ways. She chalked it up to her mom bailing on her. There wasn't anyone really ever to teach Grace to look like a girl and when she filled into her new body a year or two ago she didn't really know what to do with it. Gemma had tried, bless her heart, but at the time the young girl had been way more interested in volunteering at animal shelters and her Algebra classes. She would be the first to admit that she was a bit of a dork.

However her school work and her wardrobe hadn't stopped anybody from prowling around. Her boyfriend Jason, the one who had beat the others out, hadn't seem to mind the fact that for the most part jeans, boots, t-shirts, and hoodies were her main wardrobe. She more than made up for it- except here lately. By here lately she meant the past couple of months, ever since she first had to talk to her brother through a glass window. Jason was trying to be understanding. It was a huge adjustment for everybody as she had moved in with Donna and the kids just to help, the small nook next to the kitchen and off the living room having been transformed into a dorm like bedroom. Her volunteer gig at animal shelters had morphed into minimalist part-time hours at a vet clinic in Lodi just to help out Donna a bit. Here lately, she just hadn't really felt like letting anybody touch her. Well, that wasn't exactly true.

The fact that her brother was currently in Stockton brought up a lot of questions about her life and her role in it and also a lot of feelings she thought she had crushed when she was thirteen. It wasn't anybody's fault. He had made a promise and he was just making good on it. But it seemed like he was constantly around- more so than he had ever been. And she caught herself thinking about his smile, his smell, just everything. And it was driving her fucking insane. Taking a sip of the Jack she had swiped from the kitchen, Grace rolled her neck again, closed her eyes and nearly fell out of her chair when she heard a drawl from behind her. "Hey, little darlin'."

Startled, Grace stood up and took a deep breath before chuckling, the redness in her face receding as she realized just who it was who had snuck up on her, "Damn Jax, give a girl some warning. What are you doing out here?"

"Could've asked you the same thing. Gemma sent me out here to check on you and judging by the looks of that bottle you've been out here a while," his ringed fingers gesturing to the bottle she had a firm grip on. Instantly, he watched her stiffen and she scratched her scalp, inadvertently knocking some strands free of her already haphazard side ponytail and the wisps of hair falling to frame her face. He watched as she bit her lip and squared her feet apart. She instantly stood straighter and stepped a bit closer, the liquor no doubt giving her an edge of bravery.

"Listen, Jax, I know you told Ope you'd look after us. Donna and the kids-I get that. But I don't need a babysitter, I'm not a baby anymore."

 _Believe me, I know you're not a baby anymore_ , came a voice that had been running rampant inside his head lately. He would have to be blind or in some deep serious denial if he hadn't noticed. What used to be a skinny little twig who wasn't worthy of any sort of male attention whatsoever had transformed into a 5'7'' divine piece of jailbait. With all that breathtaking hair, those sinfully pouty lips, and wide forest green eyes coupled with a body that seemed like it was fit for a man's hands, she was far from infantile.

"I didn't say you were Grace. I just don't want you to get sloppy drunk and have to have Donna get you home."

"Low blow Teller," she sighed and took one more generous sip before clearing her throat. Reaching behind her, she bent over to find the cap to the bottle, unaware of the eyes on her, before turning around and handing him the bottle, "Here, Merry Christmas."

"Thanks. Just what I've always wanted darlin'. So…do you mind if I ask why you're holiday goal was to get shitfaced?"

"Hey, it seems to work for my old man", she shrugged with a smile before her expression turned somber, "I think I'm gonna go up to see Ope tomorrow," she offered up randomly, looking away and giving a slight sniffle.

"You want a ride," his voice came out a bit huskier and whisper-like than he attended. When she didn't answer and begin to shuffle on the balls of her feet, he stepped closer to her and drew her face towards him by way of tilting her chin up in his direction, "Hey, I can be there if you need me to."

And with that she broke into tears. That was one thing about seeing Grace cry; there were no hysterics just silent streams. He wrapped his arms around her, one around her waist linking her to him and the other buried in her hair. He wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, wrapped around each other as she cried for the brother she missed. Despite the five year age difference, the two Winston siblings had always been close. When Mary had taken them when she left Piney, Opie had come back but he had done it with his little sister in tow. In a lot of ways, Opie was more a father to Grace than Piney had ever been.

Once she had begun to settle down, a familiar feeling begin to set up shop in the pit of her stomach and migrate all the way to her chest. It became even clearer who the strong arms wound around her body belonged to, whose chest she had her face buried in, and whose lips were on her forehead. She could feel the hard lines of his body and maybe it was the drinking but she felt her body respond. Pulling back from him enough to see his face but not out of his embrace, Grace felt herself tug on her lip in confusion and indecision. She felt her breathing shift and if the fact that Jax's eyes had darkened to an unmistakable almost navy blue he knew what was up. Knew what was up and didn't pull away from her. He just kept looking at her, eyes searching over her own widening pupils, her lips, examining the blush creeping up her face. Her hands found themselves traveling up his chest, one gripping the leather of his kutte and the other looping around his neck, nails scratching into the nape of his hair. His descent towards her mouth was snail paced, brutally so, and as if expecting the other to bail out they both paused at each other's lips, their skin grazing and their breathing intertwining. She closed the distance. And for the first time in months, she felt like being touched.

Jax's hands traveled from her hair to her waist to her ass within seconds and he teased the seam of her lips with his tongue, smiling against her mouth when she responded to the invitation without hesitation; tongues dancing against each other just as their bodies began to do the same. He felt, he wasn't sure what he felt. Desire, longing, fear, consumption, passion, care, whatever the hell it was he felt it in his lips, his fingertips, and a frightening sensation begin to bear down on him. He ignored it though when he heard her moan and when she pulled away for air he ducked his head down into her neck. Sucking, nipping, biting from her earlobe, to her neck, eager to get past the leather and the cotton she was wearing to the spot of her collarbone, where her neck met her shoulder. She tugged at his hair, thrusted her hips up against him and arched her back, his arm around her waist the only thing keeping her from falling.

When they stopped, to breathe or maybe just to look at each other, curious expressions passed over both of their faces. She stumbled out of his embrace, taking a step back from him. He ran his hands across his mouth, down his face, through his hair. He took a deep breath and tried to regain control of his body. They didn't look at each other, unsure of exactly what so say.

"Fuck," he whispered.

"Yeah…um, I'm sorry. I didn't-. I've been drinking," she said quickly, as if that summed up everything. It didn't mean anything. She was hurt. She had been drinking. He had been drinking. He was just trying to comfort her and it got out of control.

"Yeah, Grace. No more Jack."

"No worries," _Especially after what just happened. I can't believe I kissed him!_ Almost running away, she turned on her heels and practically sprinted towards the back door and into the kitchen. Jax watched her go, confused as hell and still turned on. He was in deep shit.

 _PRESENT DAY_

He was in deep shit. He had pretty much known that since Christmas Day. As usual his dick got him into trouble and he found himself in a heated make out session in his mother's back yard with his best friend's teenage sister. She had in fact been the sensible one, pulling away and apologizing. He had stood there dumbfounded after she had went into the house. However if he though Christmas Day was trouble then what happened in the following week was tragic and had the potential to be apocalyptic in nature. New Year's Day was still haunting him. He wasn't sleeping well, his interactions with any type of pussy was half ass at best, he was being weird with Piney, and he hadn't been to see Donna and the kids in a couple of weeks.

What happened between Grace and him was eating him alive with both guilt and the desire for a repeat performance and consequently then some more guilt. He wasn't himself and people were definitely starting to notice. As if the universe was determined to prove his point he heard the clickety-clack of stiletto heels on the clubhouse floor and knew before she even called his name that something was about to be amuck.

Gemma wasn't an idiot and she got sick and tired of the men in her life treating her like she was. Something was up with Jax. There had been way too many retreats to his dorm alone, Donna had told her that he hadn't been by, and he wasn't even able to look Piney in the eye. She knew her son and knew that the sudden retreat into himself had to with either one or two things- Opie or Grace. And she was betting it was the latter- the two had been acting way weird since Christmas. As his mother, she knew all of Jax's faults and there was none greater than these than his love of anything with a vagina but even she knew, hoped, and prayed that her son wasn't dumb enough to fuck the seventeen-year-old sister of his best friend and daughter of his brother/First 9 club member.

She had known Grace Winston all of her life and unlike some people hadn't been the least bit surprised when she had grown a nice pair of tits, picked up a nice amount of weight, and shot up like a reed. She had remembered what Mary had looked like before the booze, the cigarettes, the bad eating habits, the diabetes, and the arthritis had taken its toll on her. So she wasn't far from surprised when everybody-her son included-had pretended not to notice. The girl was smart, loyal to her family, and she could hold her own ground. So, actually Gemma wouldn't mind Jax noticing except for the one simple fact that she was seventeen and her dad just might kill her only son. Determined to get to the bottom of it, she sidled up next to him.

"Everything alright baby?"

"Yeah, sure it is. Why?"

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking you. You just seem a bit distracted here lately."

"Ma, what are you going on about now? I'm fine."

Jax pulled up off the bar and turned to face his mother, his defensiveness birthing hostility. So she countered, "No, you're not fine. You've been fuckin' weird since Christmas."

She saw his nostrils flare. _Boom, there it is. I knew it! I fuckin' knew it!_ She watched his jaw clench and she saw his eyes narrow as he looked down at her. She remained passive in her expression, careful not to give away what was going on inside her head. _So something did happen at Christmas? This has to be about Grace!_

"Would this have anything to do with why Grace is acting all weird? Donna called me the other day to see if she was here, apparently she skipped school."

"Ma, you're doing that thing again. Gettin' your nose outta joint over nothin'. And Grace isn't a kid anymore, who hasn't skipped school once or twice? I'm fine, she's fine. Everything's fine."

But Jax knew that Gemma wasn't buying it. She already had her mind up before she even marched her way over for this little heart to heart or whatever the hell it was. He saw her cross her arms over her chest and simply nod her head like she was in agreement. However, while he watched her walk away he knew that this conversation was far from over and that Grace would no doubt be her next stop. Fuck. He would have to be careful, fuck a few croweaters just to prove that he was fine. Stop walking around here like he just killed some kid's puppy. And he was going to have to nut up and talk to Grace. He didn't even know if she would talk to him. They'd only had two conversation since what happened and neither one of them was good. The first time she went to him and asked him if they were going to be okay. He had completely botched that conversation.

" _I don't know how to make this right Grace. What happened, shouldn't have happened."_

" _Yeah, you made that abundantly clear when you beat feet out of there so fast it made my head spin. Did it ever occur to you that I was just as confused and scared about it as you were?"_

" _Confused, definitely. But I'm not scared, there's nothing to be afraid of. Except the fact that Piney might kill me if he finds out!"_

" _Bullshit Teller! You're scared of me! Scared that you might actually feel some way about me!"_

" _Are you shitting me?! You're seventeen years old Grace and just because you grew into your body doesn't make you a woman! You're a kid and I don't fuckin' feel anything about kids!"_

" _You're such an asshole! I'm not a kid to you! I'm not a kid to you now and I sure as hell wasn't a kid to you when you were balls deep inside of me!"_

 _Anger boiled up inside of himself, targeted at himself and her, and in a fit of rage he spewed out, "Well, if you hadn't been looking like such a slut maybe I would've remembered just how old you are! That was your whole point of New Years in the first place right? Did you and Natalie see action on your little field trip? I wonder how your boyfriend feels about that. About his girlfriend-". Before he could finish his vicious tirade she had hauled off and decked him, leaving a nice little shiner at his eye._

The second time around, which had been about three days later, he had found himself at Opie and Donna's house, hanging out and staying for spaghetti dinner when he tried to slyly apologize.

" _For telling me that I was just a kid and I meant nothing to you or for calling me a slut?"_

 _Looking around the living room, trying to make sure he didn't spot Donna coming around the corner, he sighed and ran his hands down his face in frustration, "Both. I was out of line."_

" _Yeah, you were. I just wanted to talk about it, so it wouldn't be awkward. Mission failed because it's definitely awkward."_

" _Look, Grace, I don't know how to get things back to normal. When I talk to Ope or Piney I just want to confess and-."_

" _I highly recommend you don't do that. Look Jax, if you can't be around be and be normal. Then maybe, for everybody's sake, you just shouldn't be around me."_

Granted, at the time it had been the smart decision. Just to avoid her. However, he hadn't really noticed what an integral part of his life she was until he was avoiding her. Despite Opie and Grace being close, the girl had a heart big enough to share with the entire world. Thomas and Grace had been close and when Thomas had died, Grace had become even closer to Jax. They talked, he recommended books to her, and she knew how to be present without having to making herself known. In his life, Grace was a welcome reprieve from all the worry, the expectations, the stress, and the bullshit. Since the fall, when Opie had had gotten pinched, Grace had really pulled her weight. Moved in with Donna, helping her out with the house and the kids, becoming his sounding board when he just needed to talk. It was a lot of weight on someone he had called a kid, misplaced or not.

Grace had a maturity that spoke infinitely about the kind of person she was and the kind of person she was becoming. It was one of the reasons he had been so supportive and albeit a bit pushy about her college applications. From the time he knew her all she wanted to be was a veterinarian. She was always finding some animal and coaxing it into her arms. It was how she got the scar on her lip, climbing up a tree in her backyard to see a birds nest. Now her after school gig in Lodi at some animal clinic was part of her childhood dream. She was well read and well spoken, despite of her heritage. Fuck, he needed to talk to her. They had to work this shit out because what they were doing now, clearly wasn't working.


	3. Chapter 3

"Aren't you supposed to be getting ready to go out," Donna asked, stepping into the door of her bedroom. Her sister-in-law was frowning and tucked a strand of her recently chopped off hair behind her ear. Grace sighed and fell back against her bed, unintentionally knocking her calculus book off the floor.

Yeah, she was supposed to be getting ready for her Valentine's Day Date with Jason but one look at her boobs in that skintight red dress she had bought weeks ago and she couldn't do it. Natalie had said that she should wait until after this weekend to drop the bomb and she had agreed with her for what felt like five minutes. She couldn't do that to him. It was better to tell him now and in person before…well, she shouldn't have waited this long. She should've told him the second she had decided not to have an abortion. But despite how smart she was she just couldn't formulate the words needed for this type of conversation.

Sensing her frustration, Donna took a seat in the wheeled desk chair Grace had painted a vibrant shade of orange a couple of weeks ago. Crossing her arms over her chest, she quirked an eyebrow, "What's wrong? I mean, I know you think I haven't noticed but you've been acting really weird lately and I'm starting to think it has absolutely nothing to do with Ope." _In fact I think it has everything to do with Jax_ , the young mother thought to herself. If they thought she hadn't noticed that her husband's best friend hadn't really been around- at least not when Grace was around- since around the holidays they obviously thought she was an idiot. If Jax thought his inquiries about Grace were subtle and veiled with a sort of brotherly concern he was an idiot. And if Grace thought that she hadn't noticed how her face paled every single time the blond biker's name was mentioned she was an idiot.

"Donna, I'm an idiot."

She didn't elaborate. _Okay where was this going?_ Sensing a fair share of teenage drama, Donna took a spot of residence on the small twin size bed, crossing her legs underneath herself. She was pretty sure the girl was about to confess her feelings for Jax but if she thought that nobody knew about it she was sorely mistaken. She had a feeling that the changes that had taken place in her family had probably led to an embarrassing event with the man who had been the object of Grace's affection since she was a kid. Despite dating Jason, which was as serious as a relationship that two teenagers could get without bordering on the borderline heartache obsession that was the Jax and Tara, Grace had a soft spot in her heart for Jax. Not that Donna could blame her. Not only was the guy extremely attractive but he was smart, loyal, and he had a way about him of making a girl feel like she was the only girl in the universe. After all Donna was married, not blind and dumb. This was the reason her children's godfather had probably been MIA, trying to keep Opie's request to look out for Grace and put some distance between them. It was a smart move but Donna herself had a sinking suspicion that if wise beyond her years Grace hadn't grown out of her childhood crush by now then her childhood crush had probably turned into something else.

"Why are you an idiot?"

"…because I did something really stupid."

It was that statement that really had the other woman sitting up and taking attention because Grace didn't do stupid. She was smart, headed to college, the freaking valedictorian most likely, responsible. Even when she lost her virginity to Jason a while ago, she asked Donna to take her to get started on birth control and hell even bought her own condoms. Even though she had been known to raise a ruckus, if that whole arrest thing a month ago still hadn't convinced some people, but still Grace didn't do stupid. She was Natalie's DD or always made sure she either had one or called somebody- Opie, her, Jax, Gemma. For MC progeny, Grace was almost…normal.

"How stupid are we talking?"

With a deep breath, she sat up and ran her hand through her already ruffled hair, "I'm talking life-changing-shit-is-about-to-hit-the-fan-the-reason-why-I'm-not-going-out-for-Valentine's-Day stupid," scooting closer, Donna opened her mouth to ask what was happening with the anxiety of a horrible revelation beginning to work its way up from the pit of her stomach when Grace held up a hand and swallowed deeply. Closing her eyes, she watched the words pass through her lips that she was dreading hearing, "I'm pregnant."

 _Click._ Now everything begin to make sense. Jax and Grace were avoiding each other not because Grace's childhood crush had developed into what was more than likely serious like _if not_ love and Jax _hadn't_ reciprocated but apparently because reciprocation _wasn't_ the issue. The two had slept together. Suddenly New Year's Day ran through her mind.

 _Grace had decided to spend last night with Natalie and knowing that girl, her sister-in-law was in need of some very much needed fun. So she wasn't going to hold it against her because let's be honest, a New Year's Eve partying experience wasn't the biggest and baddest thing Grace had experienced in her life. Her dad was First Nine after all. So she wasn't surprised when Jax got a call during the middle of brunch at Gemma's house to pick up Grace from San Joaquin County Sheriff Station. She had known why Grace hadn't called her. Grace had been pushing Donna not to pull away from SAMCRO. Constantly reminding her that SAMCRO would be forever constant in her life because at the core of Opie's identity was SAMCRO. It was all he ever wanted to be and all he ever knew how to be. Serving time is the risk they all ran and she knew that risk was a real one when she entered his life as his wife and his old lady. So to be angry now, now that the risk had become a reality was a "direct violation of your marriage vows". It had hurt to hear but she had been right. To pull away from the Club and to try to take it away from Opie was wrong…for them, for their marriage, and for their family._

 _So Grace had called Jax and pulled him away from family brunch. Pulling up onto the curb instead of in the driveway after spotting Jax's bike, she was careful about pulling Kenny out of the truck and unbuckling Ellie. Even though her street-or any street in Charming for that matter- was never actually busy, her maternal instinct was high to kick in and if she hadn't turned from closing the truck door when she did she would've missed Jax storming out of the house and throttling down the street on his bike without even acknowledging she was there. She shrugged, Grace and him probably got into a fight. The two were close but when they argued…it was never pretty. Stepping into the house, she called out a pleasant greeting, Kenny strolling over to his aunt who was standing at the kitchen sink, staring at where Jax's bike had been parked._

" _Grace, you okay?"_

" _Yeah," she answered, wiping her hand across her eyes, "Jax is just being a dick."_

With that day fresh in her mind she asked, "It's Jax's, isn't it?"

PRESENT DAY

"Baby girl aren't you supposed to be getting ready to go out? I mean it is Saturday, no plans with your boyfriend or…what's your friend's name? Natasha," Tiki called out from next to Jax.

"Natalie," Grace replied on a mumble, "And no I'm not going out."

To Donna those words had sounded eerily familiar. She told Grace that she needed to come clean to everyone because she wasn't going to be able to keep it a secret much longer. Even Kenny knew, who had overheard them talking about the baby. When Donna had found out the truth last weekend on what was now a day that will forever live in infamy or her first Valentine's Day without her husband and the day she found out her seventeen-year-old niece was pregnant by her own children's godfather, and the two women swore her four-year-old son to secrecy; she knew that it was only a matter of time before shit hit the fan. Her biggest worry now was how they were going to be able to contain that shit.

"Since Grace doesn't have the courtesy to inform the rest of you, I'll do it. Apparently she dumped that little shithead. See, the mashed potatoes…are comfort food."

Sitting at the dinner table at Gemma and Clay's house, in between Piney and Grace, Donna felt her heart speed up when Piney commented on the amount of mashed potatoes on Grace's plate. Hoping no one would point out what she knew to be true. They weren't so lucky when Jax furrowed his brow together and offhandedly commented, "You hate mashed potatoes." Grace spared him a brief glance and he caught the look in her eyes, worry, fear, apprehension, and he didn't like it. He looked to see if there was anything out of place. Donna did the same. Grace kept saying she just wanted it to be the right time to tell him but that was a cop out because they both knew that there would be no perfect time to tell the James T. Kirk of the MC world that he had fathered a child with his best friend's sister.

Grace had thrown her hair up into a ponytail, wisps falling around her face. She was wearing a black SAMCRO sweatshirt that had been cut off around the neck a la Flashdance, a pair of ripped jeans, and combat boots. And she seemed positively green after getting a whiff of the vegetable casserole. She looked like herself, except Donna knew that her boobs had grown underneath all the sweatshirts and hoodies she was wearing and that her eyes looked tired from throwing up at three in the morning on a regular basis and from Jason hounding her everyday about giving him a reason as to why she broke up with him because he wasn't buying the whole "I just got a lot going on in my life" line she had fed him when he came to pick her up for their Valentine's Day date last weekend.

With a smug expression directed at Jax she chucked down a spoonful of mashed potatoes, "I know you've known me since I was born but you don't know everything about me. I do like mashed potatoes and they're not comfort food dad. Mine and Jason's breakup was…mutual. I'm okay."

"Just being honest doll," Tig began, "you don't look okay. I mean you look like shit. Do you need Uncle Tiggy to go shitkicking?"

That caused a row of laughter around the table and Grace inwardly breathed a sigh of relief.

 _Okay this was getting to be ridiculous_. She couldn't even sit around her own family and enjoy dinner without feeling like she was on pins and needles, waiting for the shoe to drop, waiting for the truth to come out. Sparing a glance at Jax she felt herself worriedly tug at her bottom lip with her teeth. She watched his eyes darkened, just like they had before he had kissed her and heat rushed up and through her entire body. Yeah, she was going to tell him the truth tomorrow. Tomorrow was Sunday. She could ask Donna to take the kids out for a while. She would call him and tell him to come over because they needed to talk. She couldn't keep this a secret anymore and he deserved to know the truth.

In the laughter nobody had heard Kenny come barreling into the room with Bobby's other son Taylor running in behind him looking red faced and nervous. At twelve, almost thirteen, Taylor no doubt was beginning to get annoyed with watching the younger kids and Kenny no doubt was coming to tell. Probably to Piney, even at four Kenny had an astute understanding of club hierarchy. He was red and there were tear streaks running down his face as he tugged on his grandfather's kutte.

"Grandpa, Taylor is being mean!"

"What happened," came Bobby's voice from the end of the table. Taylor's eyes moved across his dad, to his older brother, to Jax and then to Grace before giving a firm shake of his head no. That was odd. Taylor, who could be a bit of brat sometimes, clearly realized that whatever he had done was too troublesome to tell. Donna moved towards her son who moved away and ran towards Jax, climbing into his godfather's lap and commanding the attention of the entire dining room.

"Are you gonna go away Uncle Jax? Go away like Daddy?"

Tiki beat his dad to his brother, grabbing him by the scruff of his neck and asking him once again what happened. Taylor looked towards Kenny, his eyes bugging out of his face as he looked fearfully between Jax and Grace, and before he could say whatever was on his mind, Kenny threw his arms around Jax's neck and evoked utter silence.

"Taylor said that Piney was going to send you away like Daddy when he found out you put that baby inside Aunt Grace," he wailed.

Time stood still. Nobody moved and if anybody thought about moving no one was actually sure what action to take. Grace closed her eyes before opening them again, feeling half the room's gaze on her she got up and moved towards Kenny. Resisting the urge to look at Jax she reached for her nephew and ran her hand along his back, giving him a comforting kiss to the cheek.

"Buddy, I'm sorry Taylor said that to you. You're right, he was being mean. But he was also wrong. Nobody's going to send Uncle Jax away. He isn't going to go away like daddy."

"And your baby? Your baby gets to stay too?"

"Yeah Kenny…my baby gets to stay too. Taylor can you take Kenny back to the room with the other kids please?"

With one hand on her hip and her eyes closed she chuckled. She had been ratted out by a four year old. Kenny, who was inquisitive by nature, had plenty of questions when he had overheard his mom and his aunt talking about the baby with Jax. It had been frivolous to think that they could and should swear a child to secrecy all because his aunt was being a coward. In a way, she was a bit glad that everything had happened as it had because she might have chickened out tomorrow, if the truth be told and secrets be exposed. Which had just happened. With her heart beating fast she opened her eyes and prepared to face the music.

"Well…surprise."

The vein between her dad's eyebrows looked like it was about to burst and Gemma looked as if she was about to go into cardiac arrest. Donna shrugged her shoulders and offered a half-hearted smile. "Dad-"

"I don't want to hear shit you got to say," he announced turning to Jax before jabbing his index finger in the younger man's direction, "I want this little motherfucker to explain to me what the hell is going on."

Jax stared up at Grace, who was refusing to look at him. How could she not tell him? Granted things had been awkward between them but still they'd known each other her whole life and the fact she had decided not to tell him this…Did Donna know? She had to. That's how Kenny had probably found it, nosy little dude had probably overheard them talking about it. Maybe she was scared. Had to be. Maybe that's why she hadn't told him yet but was she ever going to? After everything had went down between them he probably gave her little encouragement that he would be okay with it. Remembering that time, the time, he had made love to her, and how he had acted afterwards he wouldn't be surprised if she felt that way.

 _Walking back from the bathroom, barefoot, with her face scrubbed clean of last night's makeup and happily taking the glass of water he extended her, he once again examined her from toe to head. Long shapely legs made longer by the black stilettos she was wearing, impressionable curves on display in that sparkly dress that barely came mid-thigh, hair looking tousled and her natural curls beginning to fall back into place from a night of being straightened. She removed her shoes and her height dropped, she turned towards the refrigerator- exposing the bare skin of her back from the nape of her neck to the dimples at the base of her spine- and pulled out some strawberries._

" _Thanks for picking me up Jax-."_

" _You could've gotten into some serious shit you know that? You really need to stop hanging out with Natalie."_

" _Are you serious," she laughed, "don't you think that's a bit hypocritical," she asked taking a bite out of strawberry, "I mean you can party to kingdom come but I get a little weed and a little attention and suddenly it's serious shit?"_

 _Stepping off from his position of leaning against the counter, he moved towards her before crossing his arms over his chest, "It's serious shit when you're arrested for drunken disorderly and you're seventeen with a fake ID, indecent exposure-"_

" _God, Jax, I was there. I don't need a play by play. Okay so I got drunk and I got high and I made out with Natalie and maybe we took it a bit too far-."_

" _Too far," involuntarily he moved closer towards her his voice rising, "You and Natalie had your tongues down each other's throat and your tits out and a group of guys cheering from across the street!" Grabbing her arm he yanked her towards him, the top of her head tucking right underneath his chin, "You always been into exhibitionism baby or are you just getting your little rebellious phase out of the fucking way?!"_

" _I asked you to bail me out of jail not give me a lecture! You're not my brother! You're not my father! Whosever tongue that's in my throat and whoever gets to see my tits," she yelled, making a possessive gesture of grabbing her breasts, "is none of your goddamn business!"_

" _The hell it isn't!"_

 _Tugging at her lip, her eyes rolled shut as she let her head fall against the refrigerator in a display of exhaustion. She just wanted to go to sleep and forget about everything. About the pressure and the responsibility. She had just wanted a night out with her best friend. She wanted to forget about her family, about school, about SAMCRO just for a little while. Why couldn't he understand that? She felt the pressure on her arm, where he was holding her bicep release and her eyes opened. The words she had died in her throat when she saw how he was looking at her. Just like at Christmas. Her own body responded in kind, almost instantaneously. She was warm, her nipples hardened, her breath picked up and her heart picked up its pace. Deliberately he stepped into her body. With some of her sanity remaining she begin to plea._

" _Don't do this to me," she whispered, her own hands coming up to grip the fabric of his kutte and his hoodie and his own arms wound themselves around her waist._

 _His eyes searched her face, his lips ghosting over her skin, never touching but bombarding her nonetheless, "Tell me no."_

" _Tell yourself no. Tell yourself you don't want me. Tell yourself you're not jealous of my best friend right now."_

 _He kissed her instead. Hard, urgent, controlling. He pressed her body against the cool machinery of the refrigerator and pressed his body into hers. He kissed her until he couldn't breathe and then he moved his mouth to her jaw, to her neck, his fingers lifting up to touch the skin at her back, tilting her hips towards his. He moved the sleeves of her dress down and his mouth latched onto a turgid bud of flesh. One of her legs came up and wrapped itself around him and a hand found its way to her backside, holding onto the flesh there. His lips came back towards hers and she reached between them to unbuckle his belt and his jeans before he lifted her up by her thighs, her limbs falling around him when he plunged inside of her._

 _He watched how hooded her eyes became as she adjusted to the feeling of him inside of her. He liked how those beautiful wide eyes popped back open when he begin to thrust. He loved how her fingers found their home in his hair, small tugs inching him on and indicating what felt good. He heard every gasp, every moan, every "Oh my God, don't stop." He remembered when she whispered into his ear, "I love the way you feel inside of me." He watched her watching him, holding each other's gaze as he realized his eyes were probably saying what his mouth wasn't. He liked how she smiled at him, as if she was so incandescently happy in that moment. He loved the way she held onto him like he was the only thing between her and the rest of the world. He heard her begin "I wish…" before trailing off. He remembered the way she touched his face when they both came together._

 _Pulling out of her, Grace slid down his body. His eyes closed, his head leaned forward, and his arm reached out to touch the refrigerator as he leaned away from her. Sensing the coming distress about the beauty of what they had just shared, she reached out to him. Perfect painted nails, grabbed his kutte and she moved into him. The softness of her skin grazed the leather and a chill reverberated through her body. Chill or longing?_

" _Don't do this to me."_

" _Fuck, Grace."_

" _Tell me you didn't want it. Tell me you haven't been dying for it."_

" _That's beside the point. You know I want you but this was a mistake. I don't even know what the hell just happened."_

" _Jax," ducking her head underneath his arm to meet his face, "you made love to me."_

" _No, I didn't," he began before standing to his full height, "I fucked my best friend's seventeen-year-old sister up against the refrigerator in his house," he told her before doing up his jeans and storming out of the house._

Thinking on New Year's, he looked up at her face. Oddly enough she seemed rather composed for the bomb that had just been dropped. Feeling like he should stand up for this conversation, dressing down, screaming match whatever you want to call it, he rose from his chair and looked around the room at his club, at his family. Bobby seemed shocked and disappointed, Tiki appeared amused but everybody else just looked pissed the fuck off. Leveling the mother of his unborn child with an expression that spoke a multitude of words, he answered his brother, "I slept with Grace."

 _Duh,_ Grace thought to herself and if the way Donna rolled her eyes was any indication she felt the exact same way. A little chuckle escaped her throat which she tried to cover with a cough. Despite her smarminess she had not suspected Jax to deny what had gone down between them. She didn't think he was ready to be a father but she knew he wasn't the type of man to deny what happened. Her hand drifted down to her belly, fingers splaying against her body there, _this is your family little one_. God help her and the baby she had committed herself to.

"How long has this been going on," Gemma called out with her arms across her chest and a hip cocked to the side, one eyebrow raised addressing both of them.

Instantly Jax remembered the conversation he had with his mother a couple of weeks ago, when he had been trying to throw her off her snoop investigation he hadn't seen this one coming not at all. Sure he had kicked himself afterwards for not wrapping up. He hadn't made a move like that, even in the heat of the moment, in years. But he just knew that if…well he had thought she would say something.

"There's nothing going on Ma," _at least not the way you're thinking. I'm pretty sure she doesn't want anything to fucking do with me._

"Obviously," she snorted, her eyes moving towards the woman carrying her grandbaby who despite everything she knew about her was still a baby.

"What that means is that this only happened one time," Grace clarified.

"When," Piney demanded.

"New Year's Day," Jax answered.

"First, last, and only," Grace offered.

"We both agreed that what happened was a mistake."

Only problem was that nobody in the room was completely convinced that was the case.


End file.
